Pandemiversary

It’s March 2021

In about 10 days, we’re coming up on the anniversary of the first shelter-in-place where we live. Our experience may be different from many, due to our location and the professions of some of our family in the community.

I’m already seeing a lot of retrospectives looking back to March 2020. It’s like every December at year end with wrap ups of the year and looking toward the new one.

This is different, it’s heavy, it’s full of grief and so much still unknown. Maybe there’s an end date, an opening day or month, a time to look forward to normal. (Do you remember normal? I’m struggling with that.) Yet, like many, I’ve discovered that through this impossible time, I’ve learned some stuff.

Some of that was in the challenge of keeping up with Burnt Toast Food Blog. Our whole shtick is cooking together.

We tried being together safely with masks on and all the windows open in opposite corners of the kitchen. We tried doing our write-ups and marketing in the backyard (like we are today). We tried cooking over FaceTime and Zoom, which was fun but not sustainable. I had fewer dishes to clean up (lol). We sent one another pictures of whatever we’d made for dinner (if we didn’t order in) because we’ve been looking for inspiration.

Rebel and I reinforced what we knew about ourselves, that when hit with the overwhelm of this pandemic plus keeping up with work and all the life things, we tend to go into sloth mode.

What has been excellent and awe-inspiring is to watch my daughter Elyse go into super baking mode. She’s made all the sourdough things – practiced to get the perfect boule of bread, made English muffins, pizza, and bagels. Plus scones.

For Rebel and me, our blog efforts dwindled because what’s at the root of it for us is the fun of being together. So, these days, our posts have been hit or miss. 

One thing we did midyear was to shift to a self-care approach to business. We learned to focus less on productivity and more on just showing up and being present. We’d said from the beginning that we’d keep doing the blog as long as we’re having fun. Now we start with a check-in to see where we might be stuck and where we’re feeling passionate or curious for that day.

Change is coming. We’re getting close. Some in the family have received their vaccines or jab number one. I’m eager to be in the cue but I’m still waiting. The days are getting warmer so it’s easier to be outside again or open all the windows when we bake.

But here’s where I am today. It’s hard to imagine getting the family together for a meal where we all crowd into the kitchen helping and then sit together elbow to elbow around the table.

I wonder if I just won’t let myself be hopeful quite yet, or if I’ve gotten so used to being careful and my brain-on-alert is still telling me to be safe. I don’t know about you, but I started having dreams again about being in public and forgetting to wear a mask.

Today, sitting outside, with the sunshine and energized song of birds nesting and remaking their territories, creating their new little families, I’m getting in touch again with what we’re about in this blog. I hope we can help everyone, including ourselves, get back to being together.

The fun of family freely gathering, the fun of prepping food or having a potluck – let’s start dreaming and setting aside recipes. Let’s get our vaccines and start planning those summer barbecues.

~ Lee